L'Amore Maleducato.

Sometimes i wonder.
If it would have been better.
To have never felt.
Your touch at all.

🐦

Its easier to be pretty. 
When ppl think that u are beautiful they will stop there. No questions asked. No need to know more or ask more, no need to dig. Why should they?
I hate it. U are beautiful and thats enough. How u look like. They fall in love with what they see but they never reach the core. They are not even interested.
But there is so much more. No one knows. Most of me is left unsaid, hidden inside as something useless.far far within. Something no one would understand. And its easier to let them see only what they would like to see. 

A pretty face. 

Straight legs. 

Some fancy color on my lips. 

Pretty eyes.Oh my eyes, so many ppl would remember my eyes, but no one has never seen inside of them.They will look at them but will never dare to see whats shining inside there. A pit. its a watery pit. Feels mellow. Like a drop of wet alien jungle, where its a little bit too dark and humid, sweet and sticky.
The best part of me remain unwanted, and so i keep it secret, like a seed, like a blue bird trapped in my chest. Too afraid to fly away. Never let it out unless i am alone in the darkness of a safe place.
You cant meet him, cos he is not nice. And he doesnt like you. He does t like anyone. Its not loneliness that got him wild and rude, its his own nature. He wont blend with other living things. He has no interest in other living things. Wont even survive out of my chest. Cos there is where he belongs.
And so on, years pass and i tell my self its Better have him there, locked safe. With no one knowing of his precious existence. With no one noticing if something is wrong. With everyone remembering the color of my lipstick but not the shade of blue of my precious bird.