Sogno numero 12188

Sono in macchina. Vedo un aereo volare basso, ha appena decollato.
Mi rendo conto che sono vicina all aereoporto, per questo.
Nel decollo l aereo assume una posizione non corretta, ed in accelerazione sembra che stia per capovolgersi.  Sbanda. Precipita.
Nessuna espolosione. Solo milioni di pezzi a terra, scaglie detriti parti dell aereo ovunque. E io immobile. Che guardo. La gente corre e grida. Ma Io resto li, come una scimmia che galleggia.

Dream number 12184

C'è un posto che sogno sempre. Un luogo nascosto nei boschi che io non ho mai visto. Nei miei sogni é ben chiaro dove si trovi, apparently  its a place i often visit at night.

In the middle of this wood there is a portal to a different dimension, that i have never noticed when i used to live there. Maybe my eyes couldn't see it yet.

im walking down that road, As i used to do when i was a kid. The smell of rotting flesh is stinging my nose, its a familiar smell and its not so unpleasant as u would imagine.

I take a shortcut between the green shadows n suddenly im in this different place. Its like a jungle. Its humid. Green leaves everywhere they seem violent and hungry, they stare at u passing on their way. All is wet and all is warm.

Its home.

But these trees know me well, i came here so many times in my sleep. They wont hurt me this time.
There has been a flood few hours before, there is water everywhere.  Lot of water. Rainy water. Petrichor. 

 Its the monsoon i love. 

Jungle green gray and blue. Muffa muschio e viscidume. I fiori sembrano fatti di carne, e sono perturbanti.
Dead monkeys are floating. 

I see. 

They r all dead and i have to be careful not to touch their bodies. I dont feel sorry for them. The scene doesnt hurt me and i am totally detached. Because i know. They dont belong here. 

They move slowly and i just stop to look at them. Minutes here never count. Il tempo non cronologico.
I have never seen monkeys that big. They r huge. They r bigger than a whale. Brown and furry, floating on their belly i have got no chance to see their eyes. They might be scary.

I move to the other side, i saw a bridge somewhere before. it shows n disappear.
I found a child. I was looking for him but i just realized it.
Blond hair with blue eyes, he is happy to see me. I hold him tight n give him back to his mother.
She doesnt seem worried. She isnt aware of whats going on in that place. She thinks she is safe in her house. Her house. Poor woman she has not noticed how that place change. Cant she see the water? All this water?

Ive never seen this woman.
Vijeesh knows her, but he would tell me only the morning after.

I woke up next to someone else.

Not my wolf.

I am not confused. Im thinking if i should go back to that place to find a door. 

The alchemist would. 

The presence of absence

When you open your hands i always find this place, where my dreams and reality collide.

I hold on to them.

Kiss, smell, lick them. 

And then picture myself in the near future, when im gonna be missing them. 

The small details, scratches and scars.
Cuts bruises, old stiches unstitched.
Glass knifes and asphalt.

Pieces of a life i couldnt see.
The childhood you hide and the secrets you keep.
The oceans, ponds, lakes and rivers.
All the smiles and all the tears.
The slaps and punches, the kisses and caresses.
The pleasure you had and the pleasure you gave.
All the sex and all the lovers.
All orgasms and all the pain.
The food you made the food you ate.
What you curse, what you pray.
The things you love the things you hate.

All the history since 89.

It's all in there. In these two hands of yours.
What u hold and what u let go.

Sometimes heavy, sometimes soft.

This touch i miss and crave everyday. 

This place i love.

This place where i do not belong.